Anxious Night Thoughts


I am rather pleased about this recently finished painting, but still trying to find an appropiate title…
It is the second one of three works with the same theme: the anxious night-thoughts.
In this picture I painted seven heavens, different levels in the night; layers of pain, longing and anxiety.


The first heaven is the infinite wide space of the sky hovering above with her moon and stars so far, far away that it makes you feel lost and lonely, as you can feel at night when you’re the only one to lie awake.
The second heaven is about the disturbance of people with their never ending criticism and opinions.
I painted the teeth in their mouths while they are judging everyone.


Then comes the third heaven with the floating clouds of my dreams.
The fourth heaven is the endless sea who puts my small human life in perspective.


The fifth is a not defined dark-red bow.
In the sixth heaven are the flames of my regrets and desires.


And finally in the seventh heaven, safely wrapped up like a christmas baby, guarded by the protecting quiet silhouette (red) of my sleeping companion,
I lie awake open eyed next to my shade-face of darkness.


The house cat, animal of the night and mistress of our place, doesn’t sleep either.
In her own pride she never tells anything, never shares her secrets with anyone.
Cat’s head is in the heaven with flames and fire of longing and desire,


But her little body is wrapped up safely against my silent body, just as we use to rest each night.


What I consider the best thing however, is the way I succeeded to maintain the atmosphere, the intimacy, undisturbed by a composition of strong movements and strong colours.
Although I painted for months on this work you can still spur the feeling of the first idea, the spontaneous design left almost transparent in her first wash of paint and varnish.
This transparency also brings this strange haze in the colours. The faded night colours they use in films, suggesting darkness, comes to your mind.
The seven heavens are different, but at the same time they are similar, due to my brushstrokes and the use of intense shady colours.